How Pope Francis Kept My Heart Open to the Catholic Church (When I Was Deconstructing)

Episode 152  

In this deeply personal episode, I explore the impact of Pope Francis' recent passing, especially how he became a bridge of trust during my period of intense interior deconstruction. Over the past decade, I've grappled with my Catholic faith, my relationship with the church, and undergone a profound journey of inner healing. 

I share how Pope Francis’ actions and witness offered me a path through complex trauma and relational betrayals, both familial and institutional. This episode is dedicated to my fellow trauma survivors who struggle with their faith, relationships, and especially with the institutional Church. 

RELATED LINKS:

• Pope says he is 'deeply sorry' to Indigenous Peoples in Canada
• Pope Francis did the right thing when others would not, says residential school survivor
• Why Pope Francis may be hesitant to rescind the Doctrine of Discovery
• Pope Francis’ Address to the Indigenous Peoples: First Nations, Métis and Intuit
• Joint Statement of the Dicasteries for Culture and Education and for Promoting Integral Human Development on the “Doctrine of Discovery”, 30.03.2023

Watch this recording on YouTube.

Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.

CHAPTER MARKERS
[00:00] Introduction
[00:48] Personal Struggles and Deconstruction
[02:28] Pope Francis' Impact
[05:30] Journey of Healing and Integration
[07:50] Struggles with the Church
[09:58] Uncomfortable with Pope Francis 2013-2015
[13:38] Not In Touch with My Exiled Parts
[18:45] Awakening to Dysfunction and Abuse
[29:16] Trauma and Betrayal in the Church
[36:05] Father Wound Re-triggered
[38:06] Compassion in Secular Spaces
[40:41] Pandemic Retreat Experience with Gabor Maté
[42:09] Indigenous Trauma and Residential Schools
[44:58] Seeking Apology from the Pope
[48:57] Personal Reflections on Fatherhood and Healing
[58:38] Pope Francis' Apology to the Indigenous People of Canada
[01:03:55] Repudiating the "Doctrine of Discovery"
[01:09:16] A Church That Doesn't Repair
[01:13:37] Hope for the Church
[01:18:28] Conclusion

REFLECTION PROMPT
Have you ever found yourself reevaluating something you once felt certain about? What helped you feel safe enough to explore those thoughts?

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction
• 0:48 Personal Struggles and Deconstruction
• 2:28 Pope Francis' Impact
• 5:30 Journey of Healing and Integration
• 7:50 Struggles with the Church
• 9:58 Uncomfortable with Pope Francis 2013-2015
• 13:38 Not In Touch with My Exiled Parts
• 18:45 Awakening to Dysfunction and Abuse
• 29:16 Trauma and Betrayal in the Church
• 36:05 Father Wound Re-triggered
• 38:06 Compassion in Secular Spaces
• 40:41 Pandemic Retreat Experience with Gabor Maté
• 42:09 Indigenous Trauma and Residential Schools
• 44:58 Seeking Apology from the Pope
• 48:57 Personal Reflections on Fatherhood and Healing
• 58:38 Pope Francis' Apology to the Indigenous People of Canada
• 1:03:55 Repudiating the "Doctrine of Discovery"
• 1:09:16 A Church That Doesn't Repair
• 1:13:37 Hope for the Church
• 1:18:28 Conclusion